Looking Back

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

graduate highschool, start college, a couple of things i regret, go overseas (Hawaii), played sax in a jazz band, um, get in a minor car accident, get pulled over, get my car stolen AND get it back! i love my baby

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I always forget what they were, but I can say I did improve in a few things

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I don't think so

4. Did anyone close to you die?

yes

5. What countries did you visit?

none, but Hawaii

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Patience, faith that things will work themselves out.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

Spring Break - Hawaii Trip

June 12? - Graduation

Oct 24 - =[

November 21- lets just say my life flashed before me

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Completing Highschool

college and completing the 1st quarter

couple things with band

9. What was your biggest failure?

Losing sight of a couple things

giving up on a few things

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

sort of

11. What was the best thing you bought?

a couple of CDs, I'm trying to get a CD collection going

my Yamaha Custom 82Z Alto Saxophone, I was hornless for a while haha, she's my baby besides my car

gifts I got for people, especially during christmas time, it felt good to give a few gifts

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

theres a couple people, one person whom I just me this year my roommate

always positive and always there to help out

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Lots of death, celebrities and a few closer to heart

14. Where did most of your money go?

hm, i remember spending a lot for saxophone related stuff, and then a new saxophone

also i remember buying like 5 cds in two weeks time

lots of music related stuff

and college

15. What did you really, really, really get excited about?

hm, i was always excited for band stuff during senior year aha

JAZZ w/ Lapre and the homies OG's

Hawaii

Graduating and college of course

UCI, living in the dorms

seeing people i haven't seen in a while
Going to Barona for the first time haha

always got excited when i was on the verge of a new musical discovery

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

any song i played in band that year

cant believe it haha

dig by incubus

theres a bunch really

17. Compared to this time last year are you:
not as happy but its okay

more thoughtful
more into music

i feel more responsible

and im definitely more thankful

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

theres alot but these two i still think about

1. spend more time with certain people

2. play more music

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

overthink things

annoy people

things i regret

20. How did you spend Christmas?

church with the family

Avatar 3D with the family

21. How will you be spending new years?

well new years is over but i

slept in

played piano and guitar all day

stayed home with my parents

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

hmm

23. How many one-night stands?

nada

24. What was your favorite TV program?

just recently, The Office and Late Night w/ Jimmy Fallon mostly because of The Roots haha

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

nope i dont hate anyone

26. What was the best book you read?

just a couple ones ive read a bit of each at Barnes and Noble

27. What was your biggest musical discovery?

some jazz recordings, lots of Bob Florence

orchestral versions of some J Dilla productions

The Roots "sandwiches"

28. What did you want and you got?

people i could rely on and that made me happy

a saxophone

a college to go to

29. What did you want and not get?

more time with people

an ipod

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

UP, Star Trek, Sherlock Holmes, Avatar, District 9

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn?

turned 18

actually I remember PCN was on my birthday and some lovely people surprised me

pcn practice and last PCN ever!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

look at number 18

and a few other things i guess

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

simple, lots of neutral colors

34. What kept you sane?

my friends and family

i just thought of this today too, my car and some good music

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?

i don't really fancy them, but michael jackson after he passed away

couldnt stop listening and watching his videos

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

i dont remember a bunch, prop 8, equality issues

37. Who did you miss?

a couple of special people

38. Who was the best new person you met?

haha id rather not rank people

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

really think before you do something

let people know they mean a lot to you

a couple of small things can go a long way

i think my sisters answer is a really good one too

"You can never tell those close to your heart "I love you" too much."

40. Quote or Song Lyric that sums up your year:

wow this one is really hard

well this one even though its just 5 words had a pretty significant meaning to me

"i found my smile again"

theres a ton though

The Times They Are A Changin'

Summer, for the past three years its consisted of pretty much the same thing; hanging out, random adventures, wasting time, band, vacations, you know, the usual summer stuff. This summer hasn't been much different, but it sure feels way different than any other one. It didn't hit me at Graduation, High School was over and we were all caught up in celebrating 4 years of hard work. It didn't hit me at Grad Nite that this night would be the last time I'd ever see people that I had shared the same "home" with for 4 years. Its crazy if you take the time to think about it. After going to my college orientation, I realized, this is where I'm going to spend the next 4 years of life. A new place, new people, starting completely fresh. It's like being a painter. 4 years ago you got a blank canvas, and each year you painted or added things youve done, things you've accomplished, and all your countless memories. Fast forward to now, and now someone says great, now start this one. Thanks Melinda Ching, when you mentioned this "canvas" thing during your speech at Grad it totally caught my attention. I'm bummed to see alot of friends go, 2 of my best friends are leaving in two and three days, and a ton of people are leaving really soon too. I really wish I could have kept some friendships more intact, I'm sorry for taking a few granted...

But life is life right? Well, I am really excited for college. Props to all the staffers and planners at SPOP, it has really made me excited to be an Anteater. At the same time though I am just as nervous as I am excited. What I'm most nervous about is just the whole academic part and really finding what I want to do in life. I've heard stories of people, who seemed destined to do one thing but end up doing another. People gifted in the field of science, who make calculating this or computing this seem like a piece of cake, but who are passionate about things like social issues, or art and music. I just need to find my own balance of being practical, what I'm passionate about and what I enjoy doing. I've heard it everywhere, balance is key.

Anyways, before I started writing I remembered a scene from the movie Watchmen to the song The Times They Are A Changin, and it could totally relate to how I see this current time in my life. Things are going to change alot in the next few months, weeks, days, part of it good part of it not so good, but they are all things I'm willing to accept and embrace.

Heres the link to that one portion of the movie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2hNhM3dHB4

Again

So here it is, another blog about a song I like.

Esperanza Spalding. She's a talented bassist and singer, graduated from Berklee College of Music and was asked to be a professor after crazy huh! Anyways, shes a girl with real talent. Her song "Precious" is probably my favorite. Really deep song. Lots of things to ponder here, create new thoughts, but yeah well here are the video/lyrics.

Love me or leave me, but please don't decieve me

and say you'll love me how I am

You love the way I fit some ideal,

Not the real woman you've yet to understand

See, love ain't all heaven, and I am no angel

But I do the best I can

You always wanted something more from my body

And said you needed something more from my lovin'

But all you got was me and that's all that I can be,

I'm sorry if it let you down

Now it's no nice excuse, but all the magic was used up on trying to uphold

Some kind of tame, flattering persona that

Soon enough was getting real old

It takes more than pressure to change rock to diamond,

Now all you have is sand slipping through your fingers

You always wanted something more from my body,

And said you needed something more from my lovin'

But all you got was me and that's all that I can be,

I'm sorry if it let you down

But I'm not gonna sit around and waste my precious divine energy

Tryin' to explain and being ashamed of things you think are wrong with me

I'm not gonna sit around and waste my precious divine energy

Tryin' to explain and being ashamed of what you think is wrong with me

Set you up, you say I set you up

Like I was different than what I am offering you now

Let you down, you say I let you down

And drove your heart around

Did you forget about all the love & the acceptance that you promised me too?

So today, I had to go to UCI to take a test, and the only music playing was from the radio

almost all of it had no real value to it so annoying...

someone should invent something where you can access your iTunes library

from your car, how awesome would that be?

I notice alot of my blogs have to do with music, sorry if it gets annoying

to everyone (or no one) who reads this, enjoy anywayss

cuerpo y alma

This is super random, but here's the lyrics and a video for probably one of my favorite jazz standards ever, Body and Soul. Here's Chris Potter, whatta monster..haha well in this case a very soulful, emotional monster

My heart is sad and lonely
For you I sigh, for you, dear, only
Why haven't you seen it?
I'm all for you, body and soul

I spend my days in longin'
And wond'ring why it's me you're wrongin'
I tell you, I mean it
I'm all for you, body and soul

I can't believe it, it's hard to conceive it
That you'd turn away romance
Are you pretending? It looks like the ending
Unless I could have one more chance to prove, dear

My life a wreck you're making
You know I'm yours for just the taking
I'd gladly surrender myself to you, body and soul

My life a wreck you're making
You know I'm yours for just the taking
I would gladly surrender myself to you, body and soul

Centerpiece

The more I'm with you pretty baby
The more I feel my love increase
I'm building all my dreams around you
My happiness will never cease
But nothings any good without you
Cause baby you're my centerpiece

I'll buy a house and garden somewhere
Along a country road a piece
A little cottage on the outskirts
Where we could really find release
But nothings any good without you
Cause baby you're my centerpiece

- Van Morrison

Saudade

Lately, I've become a pretty big fan of youtube. I swear, you can find anything on there. One of the subscriptions I have is to the username AndanteLargo. He's this classical guitar player, who posts a bunch of compositions and covers he's done, and they are downright some of the most beautiful things I've ever heard, like in my life. My favorite one by him is 'While You Were Sleeping'. Another one that really caught my attention was 'For My Love'. I like to read the comments on alot of the videos I watch, and I came across this one that had mentioned the word 'saudade'. I'm not 100% right, but I think it's a portugese word that means like, a mix betwen happiness and sadness, kinda melancholy. It was crazy cause thats exactly the kinda vibe I felt from just listening to the music. The guy who commented it related it to how you can think of something in the past that made you so happy but now it feels like you can never have it back, but theres still some hope that it will return. haha i dont mean to sound so dramatic or serious or anything, but it seems like a deep word when you can relate it to that music.
And now, I feel like I can personally relate to 'saudade'. I've come to realize, with the help and concern of others, that the way things are now are really different. Change is inevitable, but I'm really hoping that this whole thing is just a phase..Senior year has definitely taken by surprise. I think back to all the times in the past, everyone was so close, things felt so secure. When senior year started, i expected things to get even better, but what happened, or is happening is like a complete 180 degrees on the dial. im sorry for the times i didnt put the effort in to work against this 'phase'..i don't want this to become a thing where i look back and feel like its gone for good..
Today was the first day I actually started college apps. I still can't believe this is my last year of highschool..I'm so excited for it yet so nervous..well, i guess thats all for now.

Home Stretch

So we're all finally heading down home stretch, school is basically done. It's so crazy just how fast schools going by. I remember coming into highschool saying "Am I really here? I can't believe I'm a highschooler", and its like a cut-scene from a movie to the present where I find myself saying "Is junior year already over? I can't believe I'm gonna be a senior..." Haha. Well these last couple days are going to be very packed. Theres a bunch of things like Band Banquet, Dance of the Decades, Fil Am Banquet, Finals, and Junior Speech. And just recently was PROM!


Escape to Paradise at the ZOO! and at Nikkis house too. No doubt one of the best weekends I've ever had in my life. Thank you to Christine for being a wonderful date! And another thank you to Nikki Endozo for letting us stay at her house, always a good time there. And Good Job to the Prom Committee for making Prom this year bomb as fuck. seriously. haha dinner at PF Changs was pretty dope too and La Jolla Cove was lookin amazing till it got dark. One thing that was super fun was pretty much racing to PF Changs, and going like 100 on the way to Nikkis house.


With summer coming up, theres alot of things I'd like to do. Possibly get a summer job, who doesnt want to make some bank? Having some money to spend would make summer alot more enjoyable i think. More gas money especially (4.25 a gallon? are you kidding?!). WARPED TOUR! Ive only been once, but it was super crazy the last time I went. Del Mar Fair. Beach it up. Road Trip? Las Vegas? Explore San Diego. Summer Assignments -_-. Make some music. Record. Work on the car. Im really looking forward to summer this year. The whole summer vibe has already taken over.


Well this blog was mainly a blog of random thoughts because I havent blogged in a while.

Confirmation / The Beautiful Struggle

Congratulations to all those who have been confirmed! I'm finally confirmed, and it feels good. I definitely feel uplifted inside, and closer to the G-man himself. It still amazes me how fast the whole process has gone by. I even remember sitting through my sisters confirmation, seeing her be confirmed, which was years ago, and just a few day ago I got confirmed. The bishop brought up something that really caught my attention. He talked about life and love and how theres nothing better in life than to have loving relationships with people and maintaining them. In my mind as he said those words, there were a million faces that came up, all from my family and friends and those who I care so much about. And I think the bishop is completely right, I mean, I dont think I could ask for ANYTHING else in the world than to keep the relationships I have with the people I love and care about. It made me realize how my family and friends shape who i am. I couldnt picture life without them. Confirmations really taught me alot about myself and other people, and remind me how grateful I should be. Thank You for everyone who came to support all the Confirmation-ees, thank you to everyone in my life, family and friends, i love you, especially my mother since its Mothers Day.



As for PCN 2008 "The Beautiful Struggle", Major props to everyone who was involved in every way and a major thanks to all those who supported. It definitely was alot of hard work for everyone, but we ended with success yee! It's definitely crazy how this was my 3rd PCN, leaving only one more to go. Crazy how fast time goes by. I was happy when I my parents told me they enjoyed the show, and that my sister told me it wasn't a typical PCN. I cannot wait to see the PCN dvd, and also for Fil-Am Banquet!



...everyone has a purpose, nobody is not loved...